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Summer Break | Plus: 10 Substacks You Should Be Reading Now
"I’m so tired to make myself bigger than I am" | The Muse Letter No. 134
This year has been so full on, that I sometimes forget that I published a book six months ago. That I worked on said book through Christmas and New Year’s Eve, that I didn’t take a break last summer and wrote The Glimpses instead.
It’s nice when things are growing and changing and moving forward but now at the beginning of August, I’m so tired of growing myself bigger than I am, I just want to make my bed and sleep in it. I want to swim in the medium lane and not care that this guy who is too fast for it just told me I am slow. I am not the problem. It’s you, I say.
I’m so tired of not being seen by those at the gates, I am building my own castle and swallow the key.
I need some time to be alone; not be out here where you’re only really heard when you write a bad review; when they acknowledge you when you stop singing their tune and march to the beat of your own drum.
When your own opinion matters to you.
I don’t care anymore about validation, I just care about the crisp beige linen caressing my cheek and the sun shining on my bare legs in the afternoon, and the plant that I bought four years ago, and look at it now: it’s incredible.
Its leaves are so large I built myself a boat in it and dream away. Up in the air, I am shrieking with the seagulls, flying through the clouds, resting my head on them like their cotton candy.
Other people’s judgment is not stopping me from building my own. I am content in delusion for now. Criticism is not hurting me but envy and resentment. And for a minute I want none of it.
I want my ego to shut up for a second, my fears, my ambition.
I just want to lie here still. Just me and my bed. My lovely comfy bed with my single silk pillow.
I see you back in September.
Refreshed and replenished. And probably with some news but I can’t say more for now.
Paid subscriptions will be paused till then, so no worries about missing out x.
And if you do miss my writing terribly and have not read either of my books, why not seize the moment? And get it now.
Besides that, there are so many lovely writers on Substack that you might enjoy as well.
Here is my list of the top 10 substacks I ALWAYS read: ’s Idle Thoughts: Her takes on love, money, pop culture, and just general feelings of being a girl in a white supremacist capitalist system are so witty & insightful, giving you this I feel connected to the world now moment. ’s How To Cure A Ghost: Her writing is something I seamlessly dip into. She transcends borders and connects the outside world and personal experiences to her very own point of view.
Heather Havrileski’s: She writes so unapologetically from the heart, giving advice in a way that honors the question, which sometimes leads to more questions but always with a warmth and compassion that is so beautiful to read and experience. Her prose is sharp and zesty, showing off her intellect as well as her integrity. The Utter: If you want to feel your feelings ‘the utter’ is the right place to go. Pure magic! ’s Feeling’s Not Aside: An emotionally resonant newsletter that embraces vulnerability and encourages readers to embrace their feelings fully. Kayti Christian shares personal experiences and reflections, creating a safe space for readers to connect and explore their emotions.’s Monday Monday: A refreshing and motivational newsletter that kickstarts the week with positivity and creativity. Marlee Grace's Monday newsletter provides inspiration through art, mindfulness, and engaging activities, helping readers approach their Mondays with a renewed sense of energy.
Nami’s: It’s hard to pinpoint where to put Nami’s writing. Some of it is fiction, autofiction, non-fiction: lots of threads that are inter-connecting, dream-like. There’s a deep feeling of: this is a person that’s got something to say. ’s Griefbacon: An exquisitely written substack and on top of that Helena Fitzgerald just has such great taste. If I’m in need of a series or a film, she’s my go-to.
Emma Saunder’s: If you like me loved to read blogs about people’s lives in the early noughties, this one is a perfect echo of that. Best to read with a tea in bed and some time to let the words linger. ’s Everything is Personal : If you’re into an eclectic writing style and thinking: Laurie Stone will not disappoint. It’s all weird & wonderful.
Now I’d love to hear about your must-read substacks. Or if you are writing one yourself, feel free to introduce it in the comments.
"Things I Have Loved" the second book of the poetic memoir trilogy
If "Things I Have Noticed" was about growing up and finding yourself "Things I Have Loved" is about the things that were gained/missed/lost along the way.
Told through objects Hembeck has loved, she is weaving a narrative that examines the themes of love, longing and self-worth.
By diving deep into memories of her own life, pop-culture and (lost) objects she is getting to the core of how we love and why.
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