Midsummer Reflections

The Muse Letter No. 63

Half a year has gone by. That’s just a mere fact, you will all have noticed looking at the calendar in the past days. Summer to me has never been a time to reflect much to be honest. We’re in the middle of things why look back now? – Was usually my approach. I want to enjoy the pinnacle, the heat (what little I can get in Scotland), endless nights, even when technically they are getting shorter now but emotionally and actually we’re furthest away from Winter: so why bother?

This year is different though. This year, this time, the pandemic-time has been so reflective that also now, in the midst of Summer I find myself looking back at the past 6 months. I guess in attempt to take what little control we have right now and use it. Counting the good days and the bad, realising a pattern, listing the things I have learned so far, that I am still learning and want to keep on learning:

  • To ask “How am I growing here? What can I learn from this?”

  • To ask “What would be the best possible outcome?” and then thrive for it

  • That the magic dark is a real place

  • To ask for miracles

  • To defend my creative time

  • To ask for what I want (over and over again)

  • To say “I know when I know” when I catastrophise about the future

  • To accept the feelings I don’t like

  • and to acknowledge that ghosts of past relationships can be haunting when you let them

“The universe conspires in our favour” is a quote that is either from Goethe, Coelho or C.G. Jung - in one way or another they all have said it according to my google research just not exactly like that. Either way I think it is true.

I don’t particularly believe in “THE UNIVERSE” but I do believe that the energy we put into something must come out somewhere else. That trying to stay open, trying to stay vulnerable and flexible is the path I want to stay on. Constantly changing, constantly exchanging. Lyn Hejinian says it so poignantly in her poem from constant change figures:

“constant change figures

the time we sense

passing on its effect

surpassing things we've known before

since memory

of many things is called

experience

but what of what

we call nature's picture

surpassing things we call

since memory

we call nature's picture

surpassing things we've known before

constant change figures

experience

passing on its effect

but what of what

constant change figures

since memory

of many things is called

the time we sense

called nature's picture

but what of what

in the time we sense

surpassing things we've known before

passing on its effect

is experience”

Experience, like a bride of adventure, is all I’m after.


4 THINGS TO ASK YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN MIDSUMMER REFLECTIONS:

  1. What have you learned in the last six months?

  2. What has been working really well for you?

  3. What has not been working at all?

  4. What do you intend to do with all that you know now for the rest of this year?


SHOP

My book: "Things I Have Noticed - Essays on leaving / searching / finding” is a poetic memoir, about the process of finding ones own voice. 

Buy Now

"I'd like the one with the non-existential dread, please."


ONE THING TO DO

Watch this old but still accurate sketch from Inside Amy Schumer about

“THE UNIVERSE”


IN CASE YOU MISSED LAST WEEK’S MUSE LETTER

CONSTELLATIONS OF LIGHT

“My relationship with photography is deeply intertwined with my relationship to my Dad. Or at least that’s how it started. Like my affinity towards Marzipan, my taste for herring fish sauce, my interest in gardening it all comes down to the fact that my Dad loves these things and in an attempt to connect as a young child: I chose to feel the same way.”

read it here


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