I wish I had loved more
The Muse Letter No. 26
The following essay is from Things I Have Noticed a book that I have recently published, now also available as an Ebook here and paperback here.
There’s no better feeling than waking up in a bed by yourself when you’ve just left someone who really didn’t belong in your life any longer. That feeling when you stretch your arms out and there is no one to tell you to: Lower your chin, because it makes you look arrogant. Or is questioning every word you say about what had happened the other night when you went out with your friends. That moment of freedom is priceless. I like to condense it, freeze it and store it in every corner of my brain, for when that moment comes, when that freedom feels more like a chore, a destiny I didn’t choose, I can remind myself that at least, at least we have left that terrible situation.
That is the good kind of leaving. I have experienced and seen it over the years many times: friends suddenly thriving when that dead weight of a partner finally was dropped. That endless analysis of their character of why they were doing the things they were doing, with the ultimate conclusion: That. They. Just. Sucked.
Because everything is better once you leave.