Thoughts on pausing

The Muse Letter No.7

Often in times like these, pausing feels wrong, carving time out for yourself while the world literally seems like it’s on fire. Knowing that this is just a fraction of what black people have to endure every day of their life makes it almost impossible for me to rest. Because I want to show up. I want to support. And yet I know, if I keep going like this:
I will get tired or worse get sucked into the illusion of progress as Kyan, a musician on Instagram coined so well, and feel like: Well this is solved now.

Pausing is necessary

And the most interesting part of it is that actually nobody has even said to me not to pause. Literally nobody is telling me: Don’t take a break. Keep on reading the news ALL THE TIME. Share everything that you think is important. It’s me who’s saying that. It’s me who’s frantically checking Instagram every second. It’s just a narrative in my head. That activism is always - well - active. But it isn’t. Capitalism is always on. I am not. I need to tune out sometimes. I cannot watch the same Instagram post over and over again. The same info, the same tips. It’s exhausting. And it’s not the fault of the people who share it. It’s good that they’re sharing it. Please don’t stop. Because when I talk to my friends I realise that there are still gaps in our knowledge. Just maybe feel free to take a pause. If you feel like it.

To pause is not an offence. It’s part of staying active. It’s part of sitting with something rather than running out. There’s no glory in being tired. There’s no good thinking if one keeps talking.